Insults From Ancient Rome

1. Everything you say is so unbearably boring, by Hercules, that it’s murder by monotony. (Plautus)
2. No one thinks you’re worth his attention, his time, a vote, a place in society, or even the light of day. (Cicero)
3. You’re an informer and a mud raker, a con-man wheeler-dealer, a gigolo and an educator in evil. all that, Vacerra, and amazingly, you’re still broke. (Martial)
4. All you do is run back and forth with a stupid expression, jittery as a rat in a roasting pot. (Petronius)
5. You are the stench of a low-life latrine. (Apuleius)
6. His mind is one vast wasteland. (Sallust)
7. You pretend you are one of the big boys. (Horace)
8. Are you still snoring? Is your slack head almost snapped on its stalk, with your face unzipped by the yawns earned in yesterday’s debaucheries? Do you have any goals in life? Is there any point to your life? (Persius)


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